You Can't Pour From An Empty Cup

Imagine you’re on an airplane ready to take off, and the flight attendant is reminding you to put your air mask on before you assist others. Does this come intuitively to you? Did it take you time to understand the idea of giving to yourself before all others? If I’m being completely transparent, the true meaning of this didn’t sink in with me for a really long time. I was so used to ensuring everyone else was cared for and happy that it didn’t even sink in that I could put myself first.

As Mom’s we have a growing & endless list of obligations, how can self-care possibly fit into the mix? I’m here to empower you to shift your ideas of self-care, from them being a “nice to have” to something you truly deserve and have every right to prioritize. Discover how prioritizing self-care can be a game-changer in your overall health and positively impact not only you but your entire family.

Have you heard the saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup?” Well, I’m here to tell you it is completely true! In modern fast-paced life, taking care of our own needs and giving back to ourselves, can feel not only selfish but completely unrealistic. It’s a common misconception that we shouldn’t consider putting our needs first, especially when the rest of our family’s needs aren’t fully taken care of. How dare we carve out 30 minutes to work out, when we aren’t sure how the rest of our to-do list will be taken care of?

I’m here to tell you, giving yourself the 30 minutes you need to fill your cup can change everything! We have to learn to schedule in time to take care of ourselves, because if we don’t stand up for ourselves, who will? No one knows your own body better, and the gratitude that comes from listening to your intuition is something to not be taken lightly, it truly has a ripple effect.

I’ll give you an example from my own life. I used to think I had to make sure everyone else in my family was happy and taken care of before I could possibly decide to give back to myself. it took me a while, but I realized that I was constantly grumpier than I wanted to be in the mornings. I’d snap at little things, or tiny things would be a thorn in my side. I looked at my morning and realized I was serving absolutely everyone else, even the dog before my needs were really ever in the mix. Yes, I’d have a cup of coffee, but that was while running around trying to get my girls dressed or everyone ready for their day.

So one day I decided to experiment. I wondered how my day would be different if I started the day on my terms. For me, this meant setting an alarm before my girls would wake up, so I could have quiet space for myself. It also meant I had free time to do whatever I wanted to! My morning routine has shifted, expanded, and become flexible (thanks 2020 for that perspective). But I can honestly tell you that my morning routine started as a small way to wake up on my terms, and it’s become my golden hour that I cherish and frankly kind of miss on the weekends when I choose to sleep in. If you’re curious about how this could work in your life, here are my best recommendations!

4 Simple Action Steps for Self-Care:

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, irritable, and going 90 miles an hour, it’s unrealistic to think you can stop and focus on self-care. Instead, we have to build a small “tool box” of self-care practices over time, that can be done in real life with limited time available. When these tools are put into practice they become habits, and that’s when the magic happens. Check out the list below for my top 4 list of simple steps for self-care.

• Start Small:

  • There are so many tiny ways you can fill your own cup, and the key is to start super small and make it achievable. We’re all guilty of wanting fast and dramatic results, but I’m here to encourage you to shift this mindset. Slow and steady will always build long-lasting habits. Think of tiny ideas you can do in your real life. Maybe you wake up 20 minutes before anyone else and sit in quiet and wake up with a hot cup of coffee. Perhaps you sneak in a meditation after the kids tuck into bed. Or maybe you schedule 15 minutes into your calendar to take a walk around the block, soak in the fresh air, and have a moment to breathe.

• Reframe Selfish:

  • The pressure and expectations around selfishness can be so backward. The idea that focusing on ourselves, and giving ourselves what we want and need shouldn’t be seen as selfish. Yes, your loved ones deserve your time and attention, but think of how much better quality that time and attention will be if you aren’t trying to squeeze the last drop out of an already empty cup? How we show up matters, and I encourage you to honestly consider your views on self-care and how selfish that feels. If it does feel selfish, there’s no need for judgment, but know there is room for incredible positive change.

• Find Time Gaps:

  • While we all have busy hectic schedules, if we truly observe the day, I bet you’d be surprised by how many small pockets of time you have available that get sucked up by things you don’t even care about. How many times do you mindlessly grab your phone and scroll through Instagram? Or how often do you wander down a google search rabbit hole? Look for where you have gaps in time during the day and consider how you could repurpose that time to be more fulfilling. If you’re able to be more conscious of your time, and how it’s spent, you can then reframe it to work for you. Instead of that social media scrolling, could you take 5 minutes to listen to the guided meditation you never seem to get to? Or instead of an internet rabbit hole, you could pause and take a walk around the block? If you really want to explore this idea, I encourage jotting down the times when you find yourself wandering off-task throughout the day. These are your golden times, and once you can identify when they pop up, the more successful you’ll be able to use them for your benefit.

• What If:

  • Ask yourself the simple question “what if” and listen to the answers that come to mind. Be open to the ideas that circle in your mind. Give yourself the gift of time to allow yourself to envision your dreams and goals. Consider how life would be different if these dreams received your time, focus and encouragement. We don’t often give ourselves space to be curious and wonder, so explore this idea with the question of “what if” and see what comes to you.

My hope is that this has helped you to gain empowerment around self-care, to understand the importance of giving yourself time and listening to what your body needs & wants. As much as we focus on the happiness of others, our own joy won’t change unless we learn how to fill our own cup. If these ideas have sparked curiosity, I highly encourage you to check out the Mindbody Collective, which is my holistic health coaching membership. You can click here to join the waitlist and receive amazing freebies while you wait for doors to reopen!