Mindfulness with Kids: Sneak Peek Inside Our House
Lately I’ve shared insights into the power of mindfulness practices and how they can support our children from a young age. To ensure you don’t think I’m someone who preaches and never puts the practices to work, I want to share a sneak peek into what mindfulness looks like in our house. What techniques I routinely practice with my girls to support their emotional development, and help us all feel more grounded and confident in the busy world we live in.
People often believe that meditation practices are used to create a sense of calm and relaxation, and while that can be the case, I think there’s a greater purpose. The greatest gift meditation & mindfulness practices can bring into our lives is to help us process challenges with more ease and grace. Its lovely to focus inward while listening to a meditation on vacation while you’re already relaxed and happy. But what about when you’ve had an awful day at work, and you come home and your kids are bickering, your husband is traveling and everyone is hangry and fighting over what to have for dinner? It’s then that we want to be able to put into action the mindfulness tools we’ve learned to be able to navigate the challenges with more ease, and less effort and frustration.
Today I share with you an honest and open look into our family, into the practices that we incorporate into our daily lives and routines. Simple practices that help us all be more calm, process difficult emotions and feel more grounded & confident. Read on to hear how this looks for us.
Behind the scenes to our mindfulness practices
I always start off with the positive - I am blessed with an incredible life, which I’m thankful every day, but I also have a very busy life. It can be overwhelming to try and juggle everything, and not be buried by the volume of lies in front of me. Family, marriage, two full time careers, work travel schedules, two different school schedules and raising our two young daughters, it’s the real deal. It’s hard and it’s messy and I give it my all every single day, but there are days when I don’t win, and I feel flat out defeated. It was in one of those days that I reached out to an acquaintance who I knew did “tapping.” I was completely unaware of what tapping would be like, saw it as a last resort for trying to get past a few major road blocks in my life. Out of sheer desperation I decided I had nothing to lose, as it turns out I actually had everything to gain.
If you know me, you know I came in with an outlined piece of paper with several items I’d like to talk about jotted down by order of priority. Always prepared. I had two big challenges weighing on my mind where I felt flat out stuck. I couldn’t resolve either issue and they were driving me crazy. Potty training, and was I ever going to find my dream career. No big deal, totally small things I could tackle in an hour, right? To anyone who’s had a part in raising children (either your own or by being an amazing friend, auntie, or uncle) you know first hand how hard, stressful and miserable toilet training can be. Let’s take that one step further and say that we had challenges in this area for 4 years…yes, 4 long years of active potty training. This will test the patience of a saint, and break you down to the point that you think tapping on your face can solve your issues. On top of that, personally I felt stuck in my career. I was thankful for a job and one who provides a flexible work schedule, but I wanted more, I wanted to feel lit up inside to share what I spend my days working on. I had this undeniable belief that there was something incredible waiting for me, but I was too darn stuck to figure out what that “something” was, and I was sick & tired of the rut. I wanted to break thru, and find the path I knew was out there waiting for me.
With this load of heavy burdens I stepped into my first EFT appointment with an open mind, and hope that change could happen. What did I have to lose? It was in the first appointment that I felt connected, supported and most importantly felt a shift in my perceptions of the daunting scenarios that lay before me. A minor shift was everything I needed to get out of the heaviness of those situations and feel hope for real change.
EFT sessions became more regular for me, as I saw breakthroughs and small changes transpiring. Our visits gave me hope and understanding for how to reframe my perception of these challenges. I found myself tapping on my own as I’d feel stuck throughout the day. If you see me out for a walk or driving in my car, there’s a very high chance you’ll see me tapping as I go!
Once I established tapping as a practice for myself, I began exploring the technique with my daughters. I have been able to incorporate this beautiful practice into our nightly bedtime rituals, and it’s something I’m so thankful for, and want to share with you today. I am raising two strong and confident young daughters, and these beautiful little girls have big emotions, stress and worries, that we all struggle with how to handle at times. We all need practices that can help us feel more confident and grounded, and the routines I share next do just that. These are amazing practices that support my girls, and we started at a very young age, read on to explore and build curiosity.
The Finger Points
EFT tapping is a powerful and effective technique, but can also be a lot for a little person to process. Tapping on a kiddo’s face can feel abrasive and uncomfortable, which is the opposite of what we’re going for. Instead I highly recommend the Finger Points method as an amazing alternative. To practice, simply take your thumb and forefinger and gently hold the side of the nailbed on the opposite thumb. Hold for a moment, then move from the thumb to forefinger, and keep going until you reach the pinky. I will do several rounds of this with my daughters, making our way thru all 5 fingers 5-10 times.
We use this technique throughout the day when difficult situations & emotions come up, but also at bedtime. Tapping the finger points as I lay beside my daughter is a fantastic way to ease little ones into relaxation, and prepare them for sleep. It’s become a go-to part of our nightly bedtime routine.
If your children are older, I also highly encourage this as a technique to teach them to manage stress and anxiety throughout their day. Say they’re having a stressful day at school, as soon as they recognize the feeling they can put their hands beneath their desk, take a deep breath and use the finger points. No one else will know but they can bring down their own stress levels dramatically and quickly.
As a side note, I do this as I lay in bed if I have woken in the middle of the night and have trouble going back to sleep. It helps my body relax and I can more easily ease back into sleep.
Gentle Massage of the Face Points
Another spin on EFT tapping that we love in our house is to gently massage the face points. In the traditional method you’d tap around the eyes, starting above, moving to the sides and then below. Again, tapping on a little kiddos face can feel strange and uncomfortable. Instead I gently rub or massage these three points, making gentle circles around her eyes.
This is one of our favorite practices to use during our bedtime rituals. We can lay beside one another, cozy in bed, and I can gently rub her face and she’s ready for bed in no time. It is worth mentioning, as you try these techniques be sure to tell your kids what you’ll be doing, and ask them how they feel about it. What one kid loves another may despise. It can also change over time. My oldest daughter eats up these practices, while my little one really wanted nothing to do with them. However, now when she wakes in the middle of the night from a bad dream she asks me to tap her fingers as we rock and put her back to bed. So give it time and patience, and know that having an open and curious mind is all you need to begin.
If you’re curious to learn more about exploring these techniques, I highly recommend a book called “Gorilla Thumps and Bear Hugs” and this was the building block for me to tap with my girls. The pictures are great, the story is relatable and it helps kids understand how tapping can help their body. This can be found on my Favorite Things page, along with an amazing tapping book I used to deepen my own practice.
I’ve shared with you my own practices and provided a candid view into what mindfulness looks like with my own daughters. Now it’s up to you to give it a try in your own home. Remember, don’t be afraid to try, whether the attempt is a success or failure you’ll never know until you try. And give it time. It took me years to find practices that I enjoy and truly practice on a regular basis, and that can be the same for you and your family as well. Give it time, patience and a sense of fun experimentation and simply see where it leads you.
Which practice do you plan to try this week? Share it in the comments below so I can support your journey!
PS - In case you missed the earlier kids mindfulness blogs, I highly recommend going back to check them out. The first focused on the proven benefits of mindfulness practices with children, and the science behind the practices. Secondly I shared my top 3 mindfulness practices to explore. Simple and effective techniques you can start using today.